In today’s news, Michael Gove is encouraging children to stop sexting and write love poetry. So I did.
MICHAEL GOVE: A LOVE POEM
WRITTEN IN THE STYLE OF MICHAEL GOVE
The problem with the world today?
An all-pervading moral decay.
Our children’s heads are full of rot
And online porn, and lord knows what
I find it rather disconcerting
All this texting, sexting, flirting
Who knows what goes on in their heads?!
(And, god forbid to think, their beds)
Too many kids these days are idle
What they need’s a nice free bible
Whilst we’re at it, if you please
We’ll have no more of these GCSEs
A nice school song, some smart house banners
And teach the little shits some manners
A bit of “sir”, a spot of “ma’am”
It didn’t do me any harm
I want no part in innovation
I’m Minister for Education
All learning should be done by rote!
PS. Let’s give the queen a boat.