I’ve started a project to write up the day’s news events in poem form; if not a full round-up, then at least focussing on one story. I’m calling it The Day in Verse. I’ll try to do it daily but that probably won’t always be possible, depending on how a) busy and b) drunk I am.
Everyone seems to be making manifestos these days, so here’s mine:
The round-up gets ground up then shoved back together
The Pope, Katie Price, David Cameron, whoever
They’re none of them safe from our tedious views
In short, this is your daily pick of the news
From letter to letter, from stanza to stanza
For those who like news, it’s a bloody bonanza
For those few that don’t, well we’re making it worse –
We’re writing the bastarding thing down in verse.
We’ll still take the piss out of the daily mail
Though the times may well change, and the sun’s looking pale
If you’re feeling a chill, well just go put your cardy on
By the light of the star we’ll all observe the guardian
So join with us now, through the good and bad times
We promise to bring you the crappiest rhymes
Though don’t be aggrieved if it’s not every day
There…. probably was just nothing to say.