I, having loved ever since I was a child a few things, never having
In these affections; never through shyness in the houses of the
rich or in the presence of clergymen having denied these
Never when worked upon by cynics like chiropractors having
grunted or clicked a vertebra to the discredit of those loves;
Never when anxious to land a job having diminished them by a
conniving smile; or when befuddled by drink
Jeered at them through heartache or lazily fondled the fingers of
their alert enemies; declare
That I shall love you always.
No matter what party is in power;
No matter what temporarily expedient combination of allied
interests wins the war;
Shall love you always.
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Came upon this poem and hearted it terribly.
Three major updates:
1. I went back to Leeds for one sun-burnt and gloriously nostalgic weekend. Everything was as it was, but changed. The people that I left there are still brilliant, and bridges seem to be being built with the ones I pushed away more forcibly. The pavements of Hyde Park were still hot and booze-addled, the fry-ups were still oozing and fatty, the nights were long and warm and stretched on forever. When I stood up to do poi in the park everyone yelled “PARK TWAT” at me. I am sad but happy that I left.
Also, I finally saw The Room. YOU’RE MY FUTURE WI-IIFE.
2. I managed to find a very lovely doctor who prescribed me Melatonin off-license for my insomnia. I’d read about it a while ago, because you can get it over the counter in America, but you can only get it here on a scrip for over-55s or kids with ADHD. So, thank you lovely doctor! I don’t want to jinx things, but it seems to be going really well; I’ve been falling asleep within 20 minutes of going to bed every night, which is almost unheard of for me. The two downsides are that I really struggle to wake up in the morning, and whenever I wake briefly in the night I’m having hypnopompic hallucinations that something is prowling around in my bedroom. It crashed into my bed last night, too. Oo-er.
Theoretically, Melatonin works to reset/ maintain the body clock, so it’s used short-time for jet-lag and shift-workers, and longer-term for insomniacs who (it’s speculated) have a deficiency of Melatonin. Its production’s linked to light, which explains why I have (even more) trouble sleeping at a full moon. In an act of ultimate badassery, it’s sometimes known as “The Hormone of Darkness”. Anyway, it’s all a bit woolly and uncertain at the moment, which is why it isn’t licensed over here. I daren’t even give myself leave to hope that my years of sleep deprivation are over, we’ll have to wait and see!
3. CLAMERON. I am basically obsessed with politics at the moment, or at least, lolitics. EATING UP ALL OF MY TIME. EATING IT UP MUCH AS GIDS SCOFFS CURLY-WURLIES AND CHOCOLATE COINS (this is basically canon). My feelings on the coalition are pretty ambiguous. Of course, I’m not happy about having a mostly Tory gov’t, but I’m glad that the Lib Dems are there to soak up at least a little of the damage, and it’s all very interesting at least; all I really ask from life is that it’s exciting. It’s making me vaguely ponder how one would go about getting into something political as a career. The House of Commons looks like literally so much fun. Anyway, so I joined the Lib Dems yesterday. Hm. At the very least that means I’ll get a snazzy yellow poster to stick up in my window next election time (2015?).
More importantly, the entire media has gone completely slash-happy and are shipping Clegg/Cameron to no end which is providing me with daily (if not a little pervy) squees. As a ship it has everything that I heart; it’s slightly forbidden & illicit, there’s a lot of power-play involved, the prospect of scandal and media-spotlight at any point, and of COURSE the potential for Nick being seduced to the dark side and/or Dave’s heart being melted by our plucky young hero. It’s very much a Harry/Malfoy thing. Obvvvz I love it. My long-term Aussie gf Rhiannon has written an engaging piece that rather sums up the appeal.
Also, two words: SHIPPER!QUEEN.